Last Mistake
by moonlighting.gatita
Summary: Post-3x11. SwanQueen
1. Mistake

**Disclaimer: Don't own Once. Inspired by the song Last Mistake by Hey Ocean.**

**AN: Sorry.**

* * *

Her hand trembled as she lifted her hair and pulled it behind her ear in one swift movement. Her eyes drifted upward, tracing the lines of the moon, trying her best to not lose control and let the tears fall. She had told herself that it was time, that she tried her best, that it just wasn't meant to be. The moon looked down at her, calling her to forget the past but she turned away, feigning light-headedness as her plan came to the forefront of her mind. She needed a plan—she always did. It was safe and comforting to know what would happen, the words she would say, the fluctuation of her voice. She needed to be precise and steady, listing all the reasons she shouldn't love someone so different, so heroic, so _innocent_. Because in truth, she wasn't innocent; she had killed, ruined, and lost. Her heart was black longer than it was pure.

She flipped her hair away from her face as the wind lifted strands into her eyes, and she began walking back towards her car parked in front of her vault. She wasn't sure why she came here at night; it was dark and so quiet. The rawness of her emotions has so easily taken control of her in this quiet place; it was starting to get unhealthy.

Her pace quickened, as did her heart. She had to do this. Her hand finally gripped the door handle and she jerked it open, sliding into her car before she could change her mind. She switched the ignition on, steeling herself for what is to come, and she slowly pressed on the gas pedal, her heart fluttering as the car took off towards Emma's apartment.

* * *

Her fist hovered over the door. Her eyes bore into the wood, beckoning it to not make a sound when her hand touches it. How could she ever want this? A broken heart is almost a common practice with her, and yet it always feels new and more painful the next time around. The tears threatening to fall made her angry at herself—she is not allowed to cry. If she cries, she's weak. If she's weak, she can't protect Emma. She needs to protect Emma. _From what?_ She questions herself again, reminding herself that selfishness is in her past, and she needs to grow up. _From pain. From me._

Her bare knuckles were hard against the door, the small pains traveling through her bones straight to her broken heart. She dropped her hand when hearing the slightest of movement on the other side. She wanted to curse everything that made her who she was, who she is, every bad thing that tempted her, every horrible choice she made, every person who taught her anything except good – but she knows that all of this brought her Henry. But it's costing her Emma, and that almost makes her laugh bitterly – the blonde who flipped her world upside down and inside out, made her bones tremble, and her blood boil. Emma made her angry, defiant, weak, strong- and now she can admit it, loved. Emma made her feel loved.

She exhaled, resolve setting in, her bones relaxing, her thoughts slowing down. Her eyes watched the motionless door. Until it opened.

Green met brown, and she almost grabbed Emma, almost kissed her, she wanted to cry and laugh and call this a prank – but it's not. Her heart cursed the skies above.

Emma, _oh Emma_, all she did was smile. A big radiant smile that lifted her cheeks and made her blush in the sweetest of ways. "Regina, to what do I own the pleasure?" Emma winked at the last part.

Regina's eyes widened, her heart catching up, and she told herself to smile, but her body played tricks on her and she frowned. "We need to talk," she announced, forcing herself to speak clearly and calmly.

Emma raised an eyebrow, quickly noticing her formal stance, but instead of fearing the worst, she just laughed. "Okaaay. Why so serious?"

Regina's mind flashed back to the other night when they had a movie marathon night and Emma introduced her to the 'awesomeness that is Batman' as she claimed, and now she can remember when the Joker said that same line. He had caused an unsettling feeling in her and Emma held her hand, and she knows Emma's trying to lighten the mood, but she needs to _protect her_.

"Now is not the time for satire, Miss Swan. We need to talk."

But Emma's face became more incredulous and joking, her eyebrows lifting and a light chuckle coming from her mouth. She rested against the doorframe, intently watching her girlfriend, looking her up and down. "I thought you only called me that when…well you know." Her eyes caught the dirt coming off her shoes, and Emma instantly knew where she had been. Her eyes lifted to Regina's again, and she stood straight, crossing her arms across her chest, her smiled quickly fading. "What's wrong, Regina?" She barely whispered.

The brunette looked at her, almost wanting to laugh at the situation she's gotten herself into. The Evil Queen and the Savior. If someone told her three years ago that she would fall in love with Emma Swan she'd probably punch them and then rip out their hearts. She wants to blame Emma for being everything she wants, everything she needs, but she can't. She loves her. _I love you_.

Regina looked down, taking a breath, then looked back up, moving forward. She stopped a foot from her, grabbing her hand, intertwining their fingers. The speech she had planned was long gone by now. She told herself she wouldn't touch her. But how could she not?

"Emma…" she whispered. "I want to tell you that we are the only ones who know this kind of love, and I want to tell you that the skies above had everything to do with it. I want to tell you that I'm strong enough, and to tell you that I'm your match in everyway. I want to tell you that we are soulmates, and to tell you that we are destiny." The blonde opened her mouth, but Regina placed a finger over it, moving closer, her voice lowering. "But I can't. Because I am not perfect, I am responsible for the pain and suffering of your family, I have killed thousands, have destroyed so many lives. I have lived in the darkness for long I almost forgot what it was like to live in the light. I am not good for you. I am not your Soulmate, or your destiny. I am me, and you deserve so much better than a broken soul. You deserve happiness, a family, stability, a safe haven. I'm sorry." A tear escaped and she cursed herself, her finger dropping from the Savior's perfectly pink lips, and she stepped back. "We can't be together."

The next few moments passed with pain, unbearable pain. Regina held her breath, her eyes staring, her hands at her sides. She said what she needed to say. It's done. But she didn't move, she tried not to blink for this might just be the last time she saw Emma Swan. She waited for a reaction, for tears, for yelling and screaming, for Emma to do _something_. But she did nothing. She just stood there, not breaking eye contact. Her breaths came out in short, even puffs. Regina wanted to count them, wanted to memorize the rise and fall of her chest. For everything that she's been through, this is the worst of all of it.

Emma's heart has definitely stopped beating. How she's still standing is unknown to her. _Is this real? _When Henry had shown up at her door 3 years ago, and told her that she is the daughter of two Disney characters, that was impossible to believe. But this? This is absolutely insane. She wanted to scream. And finally, after blankly staring at the woman who has stolen her heart as if she ripped it out herself, all the Savior can manage through gritted teeth is, "_How could you._"

The former Queen's eyes widened in a foreign childlike manner, as if she ate the sweets she was told not to, and she felt guilt. In actuality, she did eat sweets. The best kind. And they came in the form of a woman with blonde hair and a red leather jacket. Regina flexed her fingers. "How could I what?"

Emma fumed, wanting to move away from her, but moving closer, speaking lower, her voice reaching an octave she didn't know she could touch. "How could you be so _selfish_?" Her body was a breath away from her girlfriend former girlfriend? and she almost wrapped her hands around her neck and shook her until she found some sense. Emma waited, trying her best to hold her tongue.

Regina scoffed, crossing her arms at Emma's proximity. "On the contrary, I am selfless."

Emma smirked, anger clear on her face. "Let me be the judge of that."

Regina stepped back quickly, putting some distance between them. She has never seen Emma act this way, and honestly it was scaring her. But she trusted her, yet the emotions and doubts were clouding her judgment and Emma was a time bomb. "I'm trying to protect you, Emma." Her voice broke when she said her name.

The blonde stood up straighter, fisting her hands, her lips thinning into a line. She was sure her veins had turned into lava and her heart was close to a seizure, but she had never felt so alive, so sure. She would not let Regina walk out of her life if it was the last thing she could do. "Regina."

The love of her life cocked a brow, loosing her hold around her stomach, relaxing at the sound of her name. "Yes?"

Emma tried to relax with her, but she was buzzing with anger, determination, fear. She moved closer to her, resting her hands on her shoulders, squeezing lightly. "I love you. Do you get that? I _love _you. You. Regina Mills. I love you, Regina Mills." Emma wanted to shake her with every word, but chose to remain still.

Regina's eyes watered. "I know. But I am no good for you. I am broken. And I will make you unhappy, and you'll always wish you had more. I can't give that to you." She tried to pull away, but Emma pulled her closer.

"No, you don't know, obviously," the blonde shook her head, her eyes wilting. She had thought she'd proven her love, or least some of it, but this infuriating woman in front of her clearly hadn't comprehended the extent of her feelings. "Regina, I love you. I always will. You could never make me unhappy. And if you hadn't noticed, I'm broken too. But ever since you came into my life, I've been healing. Slowly, but I have. And I know what you've done to my family. But I forgive you, Regina. I forgive you for everything."

Regina was definitely crying, and her walls came down with every word from her beloved's lips. She didn't understand how Emma could forgive her. She ruined her childhood, she almost ruined her chance at being born. She was the root of the reasons Emma grew up feeling unloved and abandoned. "I ruined your life…" She whispered, cocking her head slightly.

Emma smiled, shaking her head, holding onto her shoulders tighter. "But I love my life. I have no regrets."

Regina listened to the finality in her voice, yet even with all the reasons Emma has given her to stay, she still has that lingering doubt. The constant question in the back of her mind, _would she be able to keep her safe? _"No," she whispered to herself. Emma looked at her oddly, and was about to reiterate that she has no regrets, but Regina spoke up first. "No." And she reached deep within, her mind softening, still maintaining eye contact as her magic heated around Emma's hands on her shoulders. Emma shrieked, jumping back, pulling her hands away from the heat in surprise. Regina frowned, but straightened her back and in one movement, disappeared in purple smoke.

Emma had no time to react, no time to think, no time to comprehend what was about to happen. The next thing she knew, she was alone in her doorway, silent tears streaming down her face, staring at the spot where a brunette once stood.

She had told herself that she wouldn't let her leave, but now that it's too late, she knows that this will be her last mistake. She quickly inhaled, moving into her apartment, her hand softly clicking the door shut. And out of every moment that's she's been the first to react, to speak, to love, she just stood there.

And waited.


	2. Crazy

**Disclaimer in Chapter One.**

**AN: Been listening to Crazy In Love too much...**

* * *

**Manhattan, New York**

_Her hands were shaking. Her pulse beat in her ears like drums, a song to match her every step forward. Her feet landed on each step with precision, and she looked up, wondering why she didn't just take the elevator. Her body felt foreign to her, this place strange, and the people alarming. It was so busy and loud and the days were too short. The buildings towered over her, frowning as she had traveled past them as if to stay, "_Stranger". _She really was._

_But she smiled then. The final step and she was on the third floor. She had never been so nervous before in her life. Her hands brushed down her shirt, her eyes catching a door with the number the receptionist told her was the one. _314\. _She flipped her hair to the side, clearing her throat, straightening her back. A small laugh escaped her throat, trying to relieve the tension. But she's been waiting for this moment for a year. An entire year, her heart still couldn't comprehend how she made it._

_Regina lifted her hand into a fist, smiling at the numbers on the door, gently forcing her knuckles to tap three times on the wood. When no answer came in the next couple seconds, she wanted to knock again, but her better judgment told her to just wait. Be calm, patient. Emma will answer._

_Her eyes bore into the door when suddenly it was pulled open from the other side. Emma hadn't changed a bit, her blonde hair in soft waves pulled behind her ears, her cotton pajamas hanging loosely off her. Regina almost lost control and hugged her, but she reminded herself that Emma didn't remember. Her memories were gone. _

_Emma looked at her questioningly, Regina merely a stranger to her. The brunette smiled at her, "Emma," she whispered in awe. _

_Emma raised an eyebrow at her. "Do I know you?"_

_The former Queen frowned, because no matter how many times she had explained to herself that Emma didn't remember, she wasn't ready to hear it. She stared at Emma, waiting for a sassy remark or an idiotic grin, but all the blonde did was stare blankly at her. Regina's hand was in her pocket, gripping the small vial tightly as she smiled sadly at the blonde. "No. No, you don't."_

_Emma couldn't help but feel awkward, staring at the older woman with hesitant eyes. She knows this woman is lying. But she didn't know why. Her posture didn't look threatening, but her clothing was formal. She pursed her lips, humming a response. "You're lying. Who are you?" _

_Regina mentally kicked herself for not preparing a speech. Everything had happened so fast, her only task was to get here, get Emma and bring her home. Regina looked at her, sighing, because what was she to do? Lie? This isn't a game, there are lives at stake. She knew Zelena had done something to the Dark Curse, and everyone in Storybrooke was in danger. Three years ago she wouldn't have cared, but Emma has done the impossible, and softened the "Evil Queen". "My name is Regina Mills. And I need your help."_

_Emma wrinkled her nose. "Regina?" Something small, something she wouldn't have noticed, tugged at her mind at the name. Her ability to read people told her that this woman, Regina, was telling the truth. Whoever she was, she believed that Regina really did need her help. But she didn't know her, so she didn't trust her. "I'm sorry, but I think you have the wrong person, Ms. Mills."_

_Regina flinched at the formality, the foreign title giving her chills. She definitely wasn't ready for this. "Emma. I know you don't remember me, and I'm sorry for that. But you did know me, very well actually. You're probably the only person who truly knows me and understands me. I need your help, Emma. I need you back. You must believe me."_

_The blonde stared at her incredulously, stepping back slightly. But then Regina continued, "Use your superpower. You have to know I'm telling the truth."_

_Emma became suspicious, then, her hand gripping the door. "How could you possibly know that?" _

_Regina smiled gently, seeing the fear in her eyes. "Because I do. Emma, please, your family is in danger, and they would kill me if I didn't bring you home."_

_Emma straightened, her voice masked with anger. "My family is right here. I think it's time you leave."_

* * *

**Present Day**

A knock sounded at her door, her eyes not lifting from her paperwork. "Come in." Her pen scratched easily across the page, sighing as she sat up straighter. The door opened, and someone shuffled in. She didn't bother to look up, she knew who it was. He had reported the same message everyday for the past week. "Emma didn't come today, Regina," Charming said softly.

The brunette looked up, her eyes betraying her as the annoyance and sadness of the situation took hold. Ever since she left Emma in her doorway, there has been no sign of her anyway. Except at her apartment, of course. Charming has told her that she never leaves, that she hasn't been to Granny's, or even the park, and thank God, not the local bars. Regina hadn't expected this, the silence from her, the complete lack of Emma in Storybrooke even though she lives here. How long was the Savior going to keep this up? "Of course," Regina said quietly, looking back at the stack of files she needed to complete.

* * *

Later that day, Regina walked out of the station and got into her car. Several minutes after that, she pulled up at Emma's apartment. And then she found herself at the same door from a week ago. But this time, she didn't knock. She flicked her wrist at the handle, unlocked the door with her magic, and then quickly opened it. Her eyes caught the inside of the apartment quickly, her hands gently shutting the door. She stayed next to it, though, ready to leave if Emma lost it. She peered around, then looked to her right, catching green eyes.

Emma watched her from the couch, a book in her hand, her legs Indian style beneath her, her hair flowing over her shoulders. Regina inhaled sharply, "Emma." She felt crazy, coming uninvited, barging in like she owned the place.

The blonde didn't say anything. Her eyes drifted back to her book, her fingers running over the pages. Oh how Regina wished she were those pages, Emma's caress but a distant memory now, it was almost a sin for going this long without her.

Her feet started walking to her beloved from her spot at the door, and Regina should've wanted to stop, but she closed the distance more and more with every step. She sat next to Emma on the couch, clenching her fists, trying not to touch her.

The blonde closed her book softly, looking back up at Regina. "Who do you think you are?" Emma whispered, the emptiness inside slowly starting to fill with anger every second the brunette sat next to her.

Regina frowns, noticing the tear streaks down Emma's cheeks and bags under her eyes. She hadn't expected any of this, hadn't wanted any of this. All she wants is Emma to be happy, to be safe. But she looked so wounded, so small. Regina lifted her hand.

Emma flinched, moving away slightly. "Don't."

Regina dropped her hand, feeling so lost. "I'm sorry."

Emma scoffed, gripping her book, leaning back into the couch. She stared straight ahead, distracting herself with the wallpaper Snow had recently picked out.

Regina sighed. "You haven't been showing up to work. You haven't even left your apartment. Why? Everyone's worried about you."

Emma didn't break her eye contact with the stupid wallpaper. "I'm waiting," she whispered.

The brunette raised an eyebrow, "For what?" She followed Emma's stare, noticing the hideous wallpaper. She made a mental note to find Snow a personal decorator.

Emma looked back at her, shifting a bit on the couch. "For you."

"Well, here I am," Regina replied saucily.

Green eyes squinted at her, her lips pursed. "Maybe." Emma's hand tingled, and she sighed because honestly what else was there to lose? She carefully gauged Regina's reaction as her hand reached out and touched her cheek. Her fingers grazed her soft skin, leaving sparks on her fingertips. It jolted her heart, and suddenly she felt alive. Her blood seemed to flow more easily as she trailed her hand down the Mayor's cheek. Regina didn't move, didn't want to break the moment. Her eyes fluttered shut at the contact, her breath leaving her chest.

Emma pulled back slowly. "You should go."

Regina opened her eyes in surprise, her heart clenching with pain, the moment gone. She wanted that hand back. She wanted both of her hands back. "Emma… was I wrong?"

The Savior looked down, clasping her fingers together. She had never felt so exposed, so weak. "Yeah."

Regina made a decision. Not for the sake of Emma's job, not for the worry of Snow and Charming and everyone else, not even for Henry's constant questioning. She made a decision for herself. "What do you want me to do?"

Emma seemed to fade, melting into the back of the couch. Her eyes flicked towards Regina, wondering how this woman could see everything yet be so blind. "All I've wanted is for you to love me."

Regina ground her teeth, angry that Emma could make her feel so helpless. "I do love you."

Emma shook her head, tucking her hair behind her ear. "No, no you don't. If you loved me, you wouldn't have left."

Regina stood up, crossing her arms, her blood boiling. She stepped back from the couch staring at the blonde. "I left _because _I love you! Because you deserve better! I am no good for you, Emma, how many times do I have to tell you that?"

Emma sighed, resting her book on the spot next to her, standing up to be in front of Regina. Her hands stretched out and rested on Regina's shoulders, a thought in the back of her mind reminding her of the burn from last week. But she didn't care right now. "On the contrary, I barely even deserve _you_. You are good, Regina. You just don't see it."

Regina pleaded with her eyes to stop talking, because she didn't want to hear it. She isn't good. She might've done a few good things, but that doesn't make her worthy of a medal. She didn't know how to respond to Emma, she had said everything she needed to.

Emma stared right back, her grip tightening. She stepped closer, needing to be closer, wanting her to never leave again. "Or is it that you don't want to be with me?"

Regina melted. Her lips turned down, and she felt completely defeated. "Of course I want to be with you."

Those words broke the walls from Emma's control to Regina's lips, and the blonde moved forward in one swift motion, covering Regina's mouth with her own. It happened so fast, Regina's mind didn't comprehend it until Emma pressed their bodies together. Regina was about to pull away, but Emma wrapped her arms around her, not letting her leave. The blonde continued kissing her, trying to elicit a response. Her lips danced dangerously on their own, pressing against every inch of skin they could, missing the feeling of Regina against them. She moaned when Regina reacted, moving into her, her hands running up her sides.

They battled with each other for dominance, for acceptance, for understanding. Emma was harsh, trying to explain through passion how much Regina could break her. Her tongue found entrance and she wrapped it around the brunette's, rubbing up and down. Regina trembled, her hands sneaking inside Emma's shirt, feeling the soft skin she hadn't touched for seven days. Seven days. Some people would call her crazy, gone completely mad, because seven days is nothing. But she didn't care, because she wasn't thinking, or at least, trying not to think.

Emma felt so alive and she wanted more of it. She moved them back towards the couch, pushing Emma to sit down. She smiled at her, staring deep into her eyes. Her legs straddled Emma's waist, her hands cupping her face, and then she planted a sweet kiss to her lips. Emma's hands rested on Regina's hips, and she spoke quietly between kisses, "You… make me so… crazy."

Regina chuckled, wanting to slap herself for a reason she couldn't remember. "Crazy in love," she breathed.


End file.
